KPARTYAWESOME

This song is not on Spotify, so let’s give up

Sun, 19 May 2013 13:27:37 -0400

This song is not on Spotify, so let’s give up

Do you guys remember that episode of Twin Peaks with David...

Sun, 19 May 2013 11:22:00 -0400

Do you guys remember that episode of Twin Peaks with David Bowie?

Yes, you do. The one that takes place in an office in LA?

You KNOW, the one where he is dressed as Candace Bergen?

Come on! It’s like, a love letter to fax machines?! I can’t have dreamed this.

Hoggle is in it?

theworstroom: Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn. $600.00 “special...

Sun, 12 May 2013 10:04:00 -0400

theworstroom:

Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn. $600.00

“special deal only for someone with a cat”

“we want to make sure the cat is a good fit as well”

We want to make sure the cat is a good fit as well

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Thu, 09 May 2013 23:14:20 -0400

“Sorry, guys. The party’s over.”

Mon, 06 May 2013 10:46:38 -0400

“Sorry, guys. The party’s over.”

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Fri, 19 Apr 2013 18:00:35 -0400

This Year Ruled

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 14:52:34 -0500

1. I stopped drinking. Wanna stop drinking? Watch the movie There’s Something Wrong With Aunt Diane, think to yourself “I could see myself driving drunk with kids in the car,” get so freaked out that you never drink again. That’s how I did it!

2. I read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and it rules so hard I can legitimately say it changed my life

3. I started to finally believe I am awesome and now my life rules

4. Started enjoying eating healthier—it rules now

5. Got to work with some awesome writers and actors at UCB and that ruled

6. For REAL stopped caring what other people think and that REALLY rules

The point is it ruled.

I think resolutions are kinda silly. They’re just a way of saying you’re aware of something you or others think you “should” do-and this awareness is so diffuse and global as to be impractical in helping you figure out concrete steps to take (“I’m going to lose weight.” Um ok but I NEED STEPS). They just seem designed to fail for that reason. I think if something is important to you, you’ll do it TODAY in a manageable way or a small chunk and you’ll be successful because it was concrete and meaningful to you. This is just how I feel about resolutions; maybe other people are different and find them helpful. KUDOZ.

There was a time in my life when I was a size 6 with very long compensatory body hair that grew to maintain heat and I ate12 apples in a row as a meal so I think I’m doing pretty fucking well right now. HAPPY NEW YEAR HUMANS

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Sat, 29 Dec 2012 22:58:19 -0500

"You may not agree with a woman, but to criticize her appearance — as opposed to her ideas or actions..."

Sat, 29 Dec 2012 22:17:11 -0500

“You may not agree with a woman, but to criticize her appearance — as opposed to her ideas or actions — isn’t doing anyone any favors, least of all you. Insulting a woman’s looks when they have nothing to do with the issue at hand implies a lack of comprehension on your part, an inability to engage in high-level thinking. You may think she’s ugly, but everyone else thinks you’re an idiot.”

- Hillary Clinton (via ceedling)

My sister RULES

Tue, 06 Nov 2012 08:42:41 -0500

My sister RULES

I wrote this Onion headline!

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 13:24:23 -0400

I wrote this Onion headline!

I'm Performing This Friday 10/12 At Gentrify At UCB East

Mon, 08 Oct 2012 10:57:06 -0400

Show is at 10:30. Come check it out! Reserve tickets here.

Nick Nolte riding in a bumper car, via Videogum.

Fri, 28 Sep 2012 12:52:01 -0400

Nick Nolte riding in a bumper car, via Videogum.

My first Onion headline up!

Mon, 17 Sep 2012 11:58:08 -0400

My first Onion headline up!

Feel this UPDATE: it’s messed up that no one liked this

Thu, 06 Sep 2012 22:50:00 -0400

Feel this

UPDATE: it’s messed up that no one liked this

“Chips Ahoy for Women.” Written and Directed by...

Sun, 26 Aug 2012 11:26:16 -0400

“Chips Ahoy for Women.” Written and Directed by Colin Elzie and Pat O’Brien. Starring Veronica Osorio, Madalyn Baldanzi, Evan Greenspoon and ME as the lady in the office (non-union).

What did you guys get hella mad about yesterday

Mon, 20 Aug 2012 20:44:07 -0400

What did you guys get hella mad about yesterday

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Thu, 16 Aug 2012 14:10:00 -0400

horseplushorse: Get your tissues ready because NBC has all your...

Fri, 27 Jul 2012 16:27:25 -0400

horseplushorse:

Get your tissues ready because NBC has all your 2012 Summer Olympics’ human interest stories covered. The tragedies and pains of the world’s greatest athletes - all on one network. And some sports too, sure.

NBC’s Sad Olympics

Director: Moujan Zolfaghari
DP/Editor: Chris Chuang
Writers: Kristy Lopez-Bernal & Moujan Zolfaghari
Producer: Moujan Zolfaghari
Sound: Kent Kincannon
With: Johnathan Fernandez, Jackie Jennings, Matt Mayer, Joanna Bradley
Featuring: Ben Rameaka (VO)

- All sad sports footage from NBC’s Olympic coverage :(

Brought to you by UCB Comedy.
http://www.twitter.com/ucbcomedy
http://www.facebook.com/ucbcomedy

You are not among friends.

Tue, 24 Jul 2012 23:53:54 -0400

Ridiculous that people are still talking about the Daniel Tosh thing in terms of hecklers vs comedians.

The people who are saying that “hecklers deserve what they get” don’t understand that feeling a lady has when she is cruising along in a room full of enlightened dudes, “fellow humans,” and then all of a sudden, one of these “good dudes” let’s his mask drop and REVEALS himself to be kind of a monster who is laughing at the idea of the bald humiliation and overpowering of another human. Most men don’t know the feeling a lady has when she realizes, all of a sudden, that she is not among friends. This idea of it being a “real threat” or not is moot. It’s about knocking a person down a peg in a scary, dehumanizing way.

Sorry, I’ve just been thinking about this for a while and I just know for a fact that America’s top minds wondered how I felt about it.